We live our life according to some important principles. As time goes by we “adopt” these principles and our reactions are based on those principles. Actually, that is our behavior.
In the NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) we use some principles or so-called “rules”. Few of those “rules” called NLP Presuppositions, are kind of “beliefs” and “guiding philosophies”. These are called presuppositions because we ‘pre-suppose’ something to be true. Your choice is to believe in that if you want to…
So, like basic principles create our behavior, we use the NLP presuppositions to create some feeling inside us. With the use of the presuppositions we tend to look on the bright side of what happens in our life.
One of my favorite presuppositions is “THERE IS NO FAILURE, ONLY FEEDBACK.” Everyday we react differently on what happens and, of course, our reactions are based on how we feel on the inside when something happened. There are times when we try to reach our goals, but we find obstacles on our way. Only by jumping those obstacles we can get closer and closer to what we perceive as our goal.
But, how NOT TO infect our inner state when obstacles come in front of you? People automatically tend to be negative…
So, when they get stuck in front of the obstacle, they take it as a FAILURE… And maybe never try to surpass it, because the “label” they give to the situation is a NEGATIVE LABEL.
How it happens? When people are not used to see the POSITIVE SIDE, they easily and automatically pull the negative side of the situation. This goes in 3 steps:
When it happens they start to observe the situation and see what happened. But, as I wrote before, the observation comes from the negative side of the situation.
The interpretation in these cases is always THE FAILURE. What happened, happened and they take that too seriously. With interpreting the situation as a failure they start to have a poor self image and poor self esteem. They put themselves on lower level of self perception.
Next thing, they form a belief about themselves and react in the future according to that belief. Actually, that belief is made from the experience they had with the “failure”. In the future they tend to behave based on that experience. This happens because they don’t see this as a FEEDBACK.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO when we have a situations like this?
1. SEEK IMPROVEMENT to continue the way, and be prepared and aware that there will always be obstacles on the way. However, those obstacles are always giving us feedback on where we can get better and better. We just need to pay attention.
2. SEE IT AS A HELPFUL FEEDBACK
We need to learn from the feedback in each situation. By doing this, we’ll be able to see the positive side of the feedback in any given situation.
Conclusion: with these 2 steps you will be able to have PROGRESS and start to give different frame on the situations. The difference is only one: If you see the situation as a FAILURE – the outcome will always be a NEGATIVE feeling; and If you see the situation as a FEEDBACK – the outcome will always be a POSITIVE feeling.
It is always up to you which one you choose.
Try it yourself and see what happens…
About the Author: Magdalena Mihajloska is internationally certified NLP Practitioner & NLP Life Coach. She motivates, inspires and empowers people to obtain what they want in life. She is always ready to guide you through the positive way of setting your own goals. You can find Magdalena on her Facebook Page.