Many of us walk around beating ourselves up for the things that we did or didn’t do. We tell ourselves that we are not good enough and overtime this can affect our self-esteem and feelings of self worth.
We all have this harsh inner-critic inside of us and if we don’t become aware of it and change how it operates, it can be very difficult to find the motivation and confidence to go after your dreams and ambitions.
While everyone’s inner critic speaks a little differently, there are some words that you want to pay attention to. If you find yourself using these words frequently, it is time to reprogram your mind.
Here are the 4 words you need to stop using:
Of course, there is nothing wrong with apologising when you have made a mistake or hurt someones feelings, but many times people use sorry to apologise because they feel like they have been an inconvenience.
Like -“sorry can you pass the salt” or “sorry for not getting back to you” or “sorry, would you mind doing me a favour”.
When you start using sorry to apologise for being an inconvenience that is when you need to step up and take notice – Are you using this word because you lack self esteem or don’t feel worthy enough?
Often people who overuse the word “sorry” need to build up their self-esteem and feel confident in taking up space in the world. Often these people need to work on feeling more grounded and secure in themselves and their surroundings.
If you find yourself saying “sorry” a lot, you may want to consider using the words, “Please” or “Thank You” instead. For example, “please pass the salt” or “thank you for waiting, I know I didn’t get back to you.”
These small tweaks can help to gradually reprogram your mind and change how you perceive yourself.
Over time, these changes will also help you to feel more confident and that you don’t have to apologise for everything that you do or say.
Another word that you have to be mindful of using is “should”. For example, “I should have done this” or “I really should eat healthier”.
When you use “should” in this way it instantly creates a judgement on yourself and even others. For example, you may also find yourself saying- “She really shouldn’t have done that”.
Even though that statement may feel true in the moment, placing expectations on people often leads to disappointment.
We don’t really have any control over what other people choose to do, and using language like “should” makes us defensive rather than solution orientated.
Saying “should” can also put harsh expectations on yourself and can also affect your self esteem and confidence.
Instead of saying “should” simply state what you are going to do and mean it. For example, “I am going to do this” or “I am going to eat healthier”.
By removing should you remove the judgement and the expectation, which in turn allows you to take a focused step in the right direction.
Try is another word that we have to be mindful of using. When you find yourself saying “I am going to try and do this” it often represents that you are not fully committed.
When you “try” to do something, it also indicates that there is a part of you that doesn’t believe you are capable of doing it. It may be on a subconscious level, but having this self-doubt can block you from achieving your goals.
If you really believe in something and if you really believe in yourself, there is no reason to use the word “try”. Instead, consider changing your statements to be more directed like, “I am going to do this” or “I am going to give it my best shot”.
By removing the word “try” it helps to enhance your self-esteem and boost your self confidence naturally. It also helps your energy and mindset to shift into a place of pure self-belief.
These words tend to crop up around food and lifestyle habits like “eating this cupcake is so naughty” or “it’s so bad I haven’t exercised in a week”.
Labelling yourself as being “bad” or “naughty” for doing or not doing something, instantly lowers your vibration and feelings of self esteem. This negative self-talk can actually do damage over time and make you feel self-conscious.
By labelling something as “bad” it also causes you to beat yourself up for it and even place blame or shame on yourself.
This is not a good mindset to have and can actually hinder you from going after your goals rather than motivating you.
It is so important to be kind and loving to yourself and it is so important to watch how you speak to yourself. Eating a cupcake does not make you a bad person, so why beat yourself up for it?
Instead of using “bad’ or “naughty” to describe your actions, consider being gentle with yourself and perhaps even more aware of what you are doing in the moment.
If you know eating the cupcake is not the best choice but you feel like you want to do it anyway, own that and celebrate it, don’t beat yourself up for it.
If you are going to do it, you may as well enjoy it and think positively about the experience, rather than shaming yourself for it.
Changing the way you use language and talk to yourself can have a profound effect on your energy and mindset.
By being more aware of these 4 words, and changing them into something more positive and self-loving, it will help to change your outlook and transform your life.